My Penis Site

Having just spent the last few hours hollowing out pumpkins and chopping vaguely facial lumps out of them, I am in the mood for something a little different from the norm…

Introducing DeliaCD. In this shoot, we see DeliaCD being a Halloween Black Widow and a damn fine one s/he is too.

Y’all should know, by now, that I like cock in a frock and DeliaCD is a fab example of why. The Halloween party I attended with Reese, this weekend, had a handful of CD’s dressed as devils and vampires, etc. I was blown away! No joy for me, though… I never got to blow even one of them. Away or otherwise.

Click here to see more from DeliaCD.com

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I opened my email, after my weekend away and was faced with the most bizarre Readers Cock pics I have received. Ever.

What can I say… some people will do anything for a kiss better, I guess.

I’ll be honest, even though those pic’s make me wince, and I don’t have a penis, I do still quite like the look of this tool. I don’t think I’d use it as a clothes-line, though. I have other plans.

Damn it! Might have to have another wank, now.

Remember the mockery of a cock (the Cockery) from a couple of days ago?  Well, I had a good shuftie round the site and managed to find a decent specimen that I felt sure was not Photoshopped.

He is very muscular, has a great smile and piercing eyes.  He’s smooth and sleek and his cock looks devine!  A substantial schlong that is lovely to behold.

And, in case your eyes cannot register the fact, (as so many websites seem to assume) he’s black.  (Well, durr.)  Not that I am making any assumptions on race, you know, but this (black) guy here is the one I could say is not ‘edited’ to increase the appearance of his penile size.

Click here to look for more unedited penile pics on www.HardCocks.Smut.com 

Ah, Autofellatio!

I believe there is not a Man-Jack of you alive that have not tried it. However, unless you are very limber and have a substantial length of love-meat, it is unlikely that you can get anywhere near, I am told.

I guess if you were terribly precocious and began sucking your own cock at a very early age, when you were still very supple, then continued to practice the art (and, let’s be honest, if you found you could, whyever would you stop doing it?) I am sure you could suck your schlong way into old age.

I have seen, however, the slightly less limber (but far more so than I) go about autofellatio by lying on their back and raising their legs over their head, and hooking their feet under a convenient bit of headboard or shelf, in order to complete the act. Please, do not blame me if you try this and then have to get the chiropractor to do a very embarrasing house call.

Here are six clips of different men having a good ol’ solo blow job. None of which employs the technique described above. We have varying methods and depths achieved, from the lips on the tips guys to the balls deep show-offs.

I must be honest, I found “researching” these clips very enjoyable.

You can get more Autofellatio movies HERE and more general naughtiness from Male Pay Per View HERE.

When I found this pic on Reese’s ColossalCleavage TGP I thought “Best check that guy out!”

But you can only imagine my disappointment and mirth when I clicked his thumbnail, in the gallery.  Now, Photoshop is a wonderful thing when in that hands of someone that can actually use it without making you look like a complete tosser.

This poor man, who probably has a reasonable penis, has been mutilated by the so-called artiste that made the page.  His cock is now a ridiculous mockery – a cockery, if you will.  It almost looks like someone has come along with scissors and glue and set to on two totally different photoshoots.

Here is a picture of a hand, for example.  Here is photostat of that same picture, enlarged by 200%.  And finally, look how clever I am… here is a magical conglomeration where the middle finger from that hand is twice the size of the rest of the hand.  And that middle finger is erected in a salute to you, my oh-so-stupid punter!

You gotta see this to believe it…

Do you think the poor model has ever worked again?  I can’t find him.  If you know of any pics of this poor guy, without the ‘magical enhancement’, do let me know.  Let’s give his real endowments an airing!

If, by some bizarre chance you might want to see what else is available on HardCocks.smut.com then click here.

Yeah, I know, but it’s getting near that time and despite all I said about sports, yesterday, I don’t know anyone* who would not appreciate the following, from Gay Uk Shop:

The 2007 of Dieux Du Stade Calendar is here… comprising of no less than 65 photographs (5 in colour) on 43 pages, it beats the 2006 offering hands down.

The lucky photographer this year was Mariano Vivanco (famous for his Dolce & Gabbana advert with Italian football players) and he certainly has made the most of his time with these buff and naked hunks. Taking match day as his theme, Mariano has photographed his subjects as they go from hotel to the locker room to the after-match celebrations.

Well, looking at the pics we have been offered as preview, all I can say is lucky photographer, indeed! Who are these men and when do we get to see their penises?

Not even any Readers Cock for you today, either. Will try harder tomorrow, but these are beautiful boys and beautiful photographs.

Lots more Calendars fromGayUkShop.com available by clicking here!

*Yes an ideal present for your staight or bi- girlfriend, your gay or bi- boyfriend, your sister, brother, best friend, teacher, boss, colleague, even your mum. But possibly not your dad.

PS: Dieux Du Stade translates as Gods of the Stadium to save you looking it up.

Dunno about you, but sport is something to occasionally watch, not to take part in. I like to see the occasional footy (soccer) match, but prefer rugby, as there is more chance of the guys getting their clothes ripped off as they scrum in the mud. I adore cricket, as they just look so bloody hot in their whites. But Athletics leaves me cold. I’ll watch the Field rather than the Track.

But here’s a guy from Supermen.com and they title him Athletic Cock. As far as I can see this is because he has some running shoes on in some of his gallery photos.

Why do I decide to showcase this guy, if I am not a sports fan? Like I say above, I don’t believe he is either. The photo’s I have chosen do not show his running shoes, but never fear, Sports Fans, you can see them if you click HERE. Weirdo.

I just chose this guy because I quite liked his uncut penis. Go figure.

Click here for more from www.Supermen.com

Sometimes I see a cock and think it needs to be shared, despite only just having blogged the site I found it on, a couple of days ago.

Taurus might not be the most facially attractive guy on the ‘net, but he looks like he could be useful in other ways. Like mending a car, fixing a leak or scratching an itch. That is quite some cock he has there. Uncut, too. Just wish VirtuaGuy would do a few more close-ups in their galleries, like they did for Derek (who I showed you last week, here)

So, without further ado, here is Taurus from VirtuaGuy2

Remember, you can get totally FREE strippers, on your desktop, from these good people!

October 22, 2006 12:00am
Article from: The Sunday Mail (Queensland, Australia)

If you thought having a shower was just to get clean, think again.

People sing, daydream and play with toys while having a wash.

In Australia’s first study into what really goes on behind the shower curtain, commissioned by Energy Australia, researchers found few people use showering time just to get clean.

Many used the shower as a chance to escape.

Brushing teeth, singing, playing with toys and daydreaming were among the reasons people took long showers.

The study examined the showering habits of 402 people over five days.

It found women took the longest showers, particularly on weekends.

The average time for females was was 7.27 minutes, compared with 6.99 minutes for men.

On weekends, this rose to 8.08 minutes (7.34 for men).

During the week, teenagers spent the longest in the shower, taking an average 7.41 minutes.

The shortest showers were by people over 40 with average time of 6.54 minutes.

Although more than 60 per cent of people had one shower a day, more than 25 per cent had two.

Nine per cent admitted to showering three times a day.

As expected, the more things people did in the shower, the longer they took.

Shaving legs added up to 10.47 minutes to showering time with exfoliating increasing time by 9.08 minutes.

The next most time-consuming activities were singing (8.96 minutes) and listening to music (8.91 minutes).

Relaxing increased showering time by 8.84 minutes. People who said they just washed their body took only 4.35 minutes.

Of all the activities the most popular, after washing, was simply thinking.

About one-third of people said they used showering to think or relax, particularly teenagers.

Nine per cent of people sang, 6 per cent took the opportunity to clean the shower while 5 per cent listened to music.

About 25 per cent of people brushed their teeth.

So there we have it. Either no one ‘fessed up to (or they ignored it if they did) masturbating in the shower. Ya know, cleaning it really fast. The door is locked, the kids/partner/parents can’t walk in on you… have a wank!

Mind you, this Asian twink from XXX Asian Gays takes more than 7 minutes in the shower, I bet! Here’s what www.AsianGays.com have to say about him:

Andrew is an 18 year old asian twink and a virgin. He has not been fucked up the ass yet and he is pretty excited about meeting the right guy who will be his first.

He is really sexy, great smile and a sweet personality too. Tall and thin, smooth skin with almost no body hair at all he is one hot 18 year old asian twink.

Click here for more from www.XXXAsianGays.com

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I am concerned that our Readers Cock submitter (and he’s a regular one) might be making his partner jealous. I think the 2nd pic is telling us all that this cock is spoken for!!

…that is the question. The featured trannies inside Shemales&Transvestites go to great heights answering that simple question. But choices have to be made and it’s not always easy to decide where to put that enormous shemale cock when it’s rock hard and gasping for relief.

I cannot agree more with the above blurb, blatantly pilfered from Shemales&Transvestites.com. As a bi-sexual woman, it’s one of my fantasies.

I often have a bit of a perv at women when I am out for a beer or six. It’s why I am usually sporting very dark shades (a-la Blues Brothers) regardless of time of year or time of day. I sit and people-watch, hoping to spot totty that might be open minded and willing to take on a chubby blonde bint, like me.

Imagine I see a beautiful chick like the one below. I’ll approach her – hey, we’re both women out, on our own. She’s waiting for her date and I offer to spend some time with her to ease the boredom of the wait. Her firm breasts and long legs have me captivated. As I talk with her, I occasionally drop my hand onto her thigh, in the way that only another woman can do, without getting a slap in the face.
I brush her hair out of her eyes after she has thrown her head back in laughter when I tell her how beautiful she is.

She does not flinch away. Result!

I catch her looking at her watch and ask what time her date is due. She tells me that he was due half an hour ago and looks like she is going to cry. As I slide an arm around her shoulders I tell her that her date must be mad to pass up the opportunity of spending some quality time with her and offer to buy her a drink.

“Let’s get a bottle of wine” she says. Not needing to be asked twice, I suggest that we save a little money and drink a bottle I have at home. Amazingly, she agrees and we leave arm in arm.

Back at mine she throws her arms around me, the minute I close the front door and we suck face like there is no tomorrow. As we embrace I feel a familiar bulge appearing against me. Could I be mistaken, or does ths chick have a dick? Forgetting politeness and formality, I reach my hand down and feel what is rapidly becoming a huge, hot, hard cock.

Ripping off each others clothing, we press our breasts together and fall to the floor.
It’s not long before I am straddling that raging erection and sucking on those massive mammaries.

Can you imagine that? I think I could manage.

Click here for more Shemales and Transvestites.

Now, to me, if someone says that you’re a bit amateur at something, it kinda means you’re not too good at it. So when I found Amateur Jerk Off (brought to you by the omni-present Randy Blue) I had to have a peek inside.

To be discribed as an amateur, when in the porn business, does not mean you’re not very good at it. It appears to mean that the model involved does not do this as their main occupation. For which I am glad, as I am assuming that most chaps are rather good at jerking off. I mean, it’s gotta be something that you spend quite a lot of your free time doing, right? (I know my free time is used up by my personal sexual gratification) And if you’re a bit crap at it, then you’re not gonna get to the desired outcome. I cannot imaging anyone being a bit crap at tossing off.

To be honest, we’re all Amateur Jerk Off’s, as none of us are getting paid for it. Well, I’m not.

AmateurJerkOff.com is a site with galleries of twinks and other chaps, (but mainly the young ‘uns) stripping off and having a quick one off the wrist. There are videos and pictures, some of which I have picked for you here. Some of the models even have names and none of them keep their socks on. I may just have found my Nirvana!